Friday, November 10, 2006

Pre NU and stuff

Here’s a picture of a football coach. Instead of some generic dad who coaches his kid's Pop Warner team imagine that he’s Illinois head coach Ron Zook. And instead of having a handful of that kid’s jersey pretend he’s got GIANT bags of money ready to hand out to great receivers from across the damn country. Seen over on Deadspin this afternoon is this story about one Arrelious Benn. Highly sought after high school baller from D.C. has him ranked as the #1 receiver and 9th over-all playah. Trying to pick between ND and FSU. Illinois Arrelious? Really? It is with raised eyebrows (I wish I could do the one raised eyebrow trick like Mr. Spock) that I question his decision. Oh sure, Illinois is a program on the rise with a solid future ahead of them……Blah freaking Blah. The Candyman has come to Arrelious with open wallet. Just sayin’.

The Aforementioned Pregame Entry Commenceth.

Northwestern huh? Ryan Field in suburban Chicago. Ohio State is favored by twenty-something. Give the points to whomever will take them. This, dear reader, is going to be what I like to call an Ass Whoopin. Even Tressel-ball won’t be able to slow our boys down.

Butkus Award finalist and tattooed badass James “My dad isn’t the only one who can do an atomic elbow drop off the top turnbuckle” Laurinaitis will score. As will my boy
Antonio Smith. That’s 2 TDs for the defense.

Take it to the bank. Plus, if I’m wrong, I can always just come back and edit this later.

tOSU – 38

NU – 10

Ok, Stop with the bald kitty jokes. You're better than that.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Bitches and Homeys

Since I’m relatively new to your nation of Blogastavia, I will tell you a couple of the things that I have learned. I have learned to plagiarize if possible and post anonymously when saying something provocative, among many other things. One of the things I have missed the boat on however is posting a Blog roll (Or a list of folks out there that I feel the need to tip my hat to.) These folks all get nearly daily visits from me and deserve to get visits from many more folks. My intention is to try to keep up with these guys after football season is complete. You know tOSU has a little basketball team we might like to follow, etc. But if, by chance, I peter out like Pee Wee Herman at a Jenna Jameson Festival, these boys won’t miss a beat. Budump shoosh. Thank you, Thank you. I’ll be here all week, try the veal.

In no particular order - click here or over here on the right-->
Death Cab For Woody
Double Deuce
Eleven Warriors
Buckeye Blog
The 614
The Buckeye Expat
Around the Oval
My Casual Thoughts
Buckeye Commentary

I’ll do a little pregame tomorrow for Northwestern. I sure hope the team cares a hell of a lot more than I do. The Mrs. and I head to C-bus in less than a week and it’s about all I can think about. Thanks again.

Go Buckeyes.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

We kick Morgantown's ass

All right, there. I said it. I'm tired of defending Columbus. We are without a doubt the best couch-burning-riot-having-redneck-town ever. Morgantown, WV? Please. What other city prepares for the biggest battle since they started making footballs oblong by deputizing the garbage collectors as Couch Sheriffs? So here’s to you, denizens of our fair burg. You make a man proud. From the Dogpatch:

If trash collectors spot a couch, they are asked to call code-enforcement officers. More than 200 citations have been issued since a citywide ban on porch couches began 17 months ago, said Development Director Mark Barbash.

Also. I can’t find this on so go to this enemy site and watch a clip from the Daily Show, when they were at The Ohio State University. Funny stuff.

Monday, November 06, 2006

That's what she said

The beautiful Mrs. Penalty Kill has been to exactly two college football games in the entirety of her young life. First, the glorious Ohio State win over hated Miami in the National Championship Game. I mean this was her first college football game EVER. What a way to start. (side note: I rock. I know this because I took my then girlfriend to a game like that. I know. Total badass.)

And the second one was…you ask? Texas at Ohio State. (See the above statement about my badassedness and replace “girlfriend” with “wife.”)

Since then she’s started to watch a lot of the games and has really begun to get into it. For getting such a late start, she’s becoming quite the college football fan. Even to the point of watching games not involving tOSU. I’ve said all this just to set up that she’s pretty new at this. Agreed? Good.

As you may have read earlier I was out of town this weekend and had to get some updates via telephone from her. It was with a fair amount of pride and a roughly equal part recoil I heard her say,
“Ohio State looks like shit!” (Paraphrasing a bit from here on.) “Troy Smith looks like shit, plus that kid you like so much #28, fumbled and looks like shit.” “They’re letting Illinois stay in this game.” “I thought Illinois was supposed to suck.” “Tressel better let these kids know that there is another game between now and the game that they are obviously thinking about right now.” “If they play like this against Michigan, we’re going to get our asses kicked.” “Hey look, there’s a sale at Penney’s”

My only point here is that if she can see it so plainly then it must be true. The Buckeyes escaped Champagne-Urbana (dumb name) with their lives. And clearly looked "like shit."

As my boy DER said, it is like we went from two eventualities – a 13th game and a Heisman for TS – to none. I really hope Troy has a couple of very strong games and gets his Trophy and that this game didn't hurt him too badly. Though, I'm sure every QB winner has had a questionable game along the way. As for the other, our Buckeyes need to heed my bride’s advice…Get your shit together, kick Northwestern’s asses until they’re purple, then get pumped for UM, and finally never wear horizontal stripes if you are a large woman. All very sound, I think.

I plan to be kicking it up a notch over the next week so check back soon. That is until we leave Texas for Columbus next Wednesday. GO BUCKS.