Friday, September 29, 2006

Lee Corso is a....

What good would a blog that claims to be even a little sportsy be with out at least one entry about the “Keys To The Game?” Who cares, they’re STUPID. My buddies and I joke about it all the time. (click <--)

Mungville State HAS to win the turnover battle to prevail today.

Sillytown U needs to make a bunch of first downs to keep Pimpled Tech on their heals.

Here’s a good one.

The NM Lettuce-Pickers need to take the crowd out of the game early, the longer they let the Border Mounties stay in the game the more dangerous this game will become for them.

Well, No shit.


This is not to say that there isn’t value or fun in breaking down a game attempting to prognosticate an outcome. Figuratively pitting one team’s secondary to the passing efficiency of the other. It gives me a little tired-head getting too deep into the X’s and O’s but a careless, haphazard and cursory look at the Ohio State @ Iowa game seems appropriate. So here goes.

Neidermeyer. Dead...Marmalard. Dead...Drew Tate……
This kid is good. He didn’t play in the game against Syracuse where the Hawkeyes needed overtime to close the deal but he’s been very solid this year. He’s quick and has a rocket arm. He needs a dag-gum 3 1/2 hour case of Dick-in-the-dirt-itis administered by the OSU defense. He won’t make many mistakes on his own so the boys up front need to make his night rough. The Buckeye secondary has improved game by game this year and look up to the task of wrapping up the Iowa receivers.

Magic Legs
We haven’t seen Troy Smith do much with his feet yet this campaign. In fact, if there has been a called play for Smith to run on purpose, I can't remember it. Look for that this game, if necessary. I’d like to keep those in the quiver for later in the season, say late November. But, good protection for TS and a mobile pocket will afford him a bunch of options.

Look at that little Teddy Run
TG2 hasn’t run a punt or kick off return back yet this year. For those of you scoring at home that’s 16 attempts with out a money shot. That’s enough to make a man very crabby. Love to see that change this weekend.

Teddy and the rest of the receiving corps should have a good night. Iowa’s secondary would have a tough time against them on a good day but they’re banged up right now. Big advantage to the good guys.

Stinky Pinky Locker room
Hayden Fry had the visitor's locker room Iowa's place painted pink many years ago. What affect it has on the visiting team isn’t clear. What is clear though, is what affect it has on a visiting team ranked #1 in the country. BUBKUS! Nada. Zilch. Jack-shit. Iowa has never beaten a #1 team in Kinnick Outhouse.

Ok, I’m spent. Next time I get the urge to do this I think I’ll just try to say something pithy and move on to the prediction. Like this.

So the Bartender says….”Why the long face?”

tOSU – 27 (which means mixing in FG or two , or more likely missing a PAT)
Iowa - 17


Go Buckeyes Beat Iowa

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Some Midweek Prattle

I’ve said this before and I'll say it again, I should’ve just kept on walking when I got the handshake. The lovely DH and I went out for a nightcap after gorging on raw fish. Sounds like we are penguins or seals or something….
Shhh! Look! There are the elusive Wild Hopkins’ gorging on fish plucked directly from the icy river. Rarely are we lucky enough to see this happen. Look how they then dip the raw fish into a craftily made mixture of soy sauce and wasabi.
Anyway, I was introduced to this woman who stuck her hand out for a handshake. I said “I’m Andy, How are you?” First off it was a horribly weak handshake, (see Handshakes) but then she took a second before answering me. She was reading my shirt, which happened to be a “Scoreboard” shirt from the Ohio State/Texas asswhoopin’ She then said, “I don’t like you,” while at the very same time punching me square in the sternum. Hard. I pretended it didn’t hurt but it kinda did. I was thinking this little freak just punched me in the chest exactly 30 seconds after meeting me. Man do I have a touch with the women folk? I’m guessing she’s a Texas fan.

It would probably been ok if she didn’t look like a product of some farm mating experiment gone wrong. Maybe she forgot about one of the steps in the “Stop Drop and Roll” fire escape plan. If Tom Kite and somebody really ugly were performing the “Eiffel Tower” with the only female Oompa Loompa….Ok, enough. Next.

Iowa. Dun dun duhhhhhh!

I’m getting nervous about the pending Ohio State skirmish with Radar O’Rielly’s Iowa Hawkeyes. I’m more nervous about being confident that the Buckeyes will win than about the game. Weird? I just sort of know that we’ll win. That bugs the crap out of me. I’m supposed to be very weary for every game even the cream puffs like Bowling Green or Syracuse. (gotcha JB) The prescription for this malady might just be to go read the Iowa City “We’re hicks from a flat-ass state with nothin’ but corn, but at least we aren’t South Dakota” Times Register Picayune Intelligencer Reporter Coloring Book. There I hope to find some articles talking about how the Hawkeyes are the land mine in the Buckeyes march toward the holy land. I hope I find it, because right now my prediction is that tOSU takes Iowa to their own woodshed and blisters their hind ends through their well-worn overalls. Maybe I'm just a little wound up or possibly it's gas.

More later.