Friday, October 20, 2006

Pregame and Stuff

Thanks to alert TPK Kool-aid drinker, JB, who took a well-needed break from his high-powered job as Chief Unicorn Tinkle Collector to find this very funny clip. You might have also seen on a little site called gorillamask but don’t worry about that so much right now.

It might only be funnier if in the background Lloyd Carr was getting bitch-slapped by Phyllis Diller, Andrew Dice Cay and couple of chimps in WWE Raw Cage Match.

Ok…So…Now it’s the weekend and the little Hoosiers come to the ‘Shoe with BIG hopes. Can we all agree that the Buckeyes just need to keep from falling asleep in this game? (And the others between now and November 18th for that matter.) I’d be tickled to see a first half consisting of about 35 points for tOSU. Then let's get some more quality mop-up time for the 2nd and 3rd stringers in the third stanza. Finally, how 'bout we give Brutus and the cheerleaders some reps in the fourth. So much for IU pre-game coverage from me.

tOSU – 54
IU – 14

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Midweek Prattle Redux

A couple items that are making my brain itch. So please humor me while I scratch.

It is time to head up to the local Sears to buy a new washer and dryer set. Pretty interesting how the two decided to die at the exact same damn time. Tell the JFK and 9-11 folks we’ve got a hot conspiracy down here in Dallas. Were the two talking to each other? Both were made by Maytag. Hmmmm. I too am blaming it on the Cubans or the Mob, or both. Yeah….Both.

There’s TONS of new “Personal Domicile Laundry” technology these days. I’m pretty sure you can program these new sets to teleport your clothes from the hamper upstairs to the washer, then dry, fold and put ‘em away before your Hungry Man dinner is done. Can all those options and electronics be necessary? Probably not, except of course for if it can also tell me when I’m running low on beer, weed or nacho fixings.

Ants In His Pants in Bloomington

I’m very pleased for Terry Hoeppner, Hoosier head coach. He’s successfully undergone brain surgery in the last year. Not just once, but twice. Which is great, as I can’t imagine the trauma, rehab and unfortunate hair that would accompany the surgeries. One problem, though, I think the doctors must’ve had a part left over when they closed him back up. You know when you put together the crappy particleboard entertainment center from Wal-mart and have those 2 screw-like items left? Like that.

The pieces missing from his brain have to do with the area that makes him remember he’s the coach of INDIANA. A win at Illinois (stinko yes, but it was on the road) and a big upset when Iowa visited last week tell the tale. He clearly doesn’t remember that he’s not supposed to get his kids whipped up into a frenzy and think they could beat Ohio State. They should be going to class and watching Gene Hackman movies instead.

"Some people called it an upset last week, and I guess, technically, it was," Hoeppner said. "If we win the game this week, it would probably be considered an upset again. But that’s what we’re intending to do."
“Probably”?? Damn straight Brutha. That would be an upset of an epic proportion.

Well that’s the last thing we need. I know the Buckeyes are favored by 30 points this week, but this guy is walking around with a brain built by a committee that is filled with crazy ideas. Is there a brain doctor in the house?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Thuggery at the U, Really?

What did this idiot do to get a job broadcasting football games? Lamar Thomas should be the anchorman for the South Florida Penitentiary closed-circuit 6 o’clock “Watch Your Ass – Eyewitness News,” not a sideline reporter in the real world. This dude was a punk scumbag extraordinaire when he was a “playah” at the U. He hasn’t changed. I know you’ve heard the story, if not, go here. So back to my question. What did this turd do to get a job at Comcast? Has anyone seen the interviewer since the interview, or did they just take Thomas’ word for it that the interviewer really said
"'My shit were good and I should be on the TV like a mutha-f…’”
They got what they deserved.

Come to think of it, Hey #13 Former Denver Bronco! We’ve got a gig for you after your hitch in the Gray-Bar Hilton is over. You too can be a sideline dumbass…er reporter, though not in the Big Ten. We’ll need you to go down south, way down south.

I’ll chime in on the looming dogfight with the Hoosiers a little later. I know they think that after this week the Big10 will be the Big 3 and the Little 8. However, they might want to tap the breaks just a little on that. More later. Go Bucks.