Thursday, September 21, 2006

State Penn Blows

State Penn needs an ass-whoopin’ like nobody's business. I mean they need a hide tanning of epic proportions. EPIC! Ohio State needs to go Reginald Denny on their chump asses. The girlie Lions are quickly climbing my ladder of DoucheBagocity toward the pole-sitter scUM. Yeah, yeah, I know, and you’re right. It's partly because they beat the Buckeyes last year in Crappy Valley. But it is also because of their stupid "White-out." And their obnoxious, nearing violent treatment of my sainted parents last year, when they really had my folks fearing for their safety. Assholes. Also contributing to this list is the never-to-be-forgotten-63-14-masacre of 1994. Yep. It’s official. I can’t stand PSU.

I certainly don’t buy in to the “Joe Pa is a great, I hope he can win and go out on top” malarkey. That theory is complete crap. I just want him to go. Retire already would you? I don’t want to get too personal with JP, but he really looks like he smells like banana pudding, Old Spice and feet. Shallow and petty enough for you? How ‘bout the bobblehead pictured herewith? Do you think he’s got editorial control on this item? Damn straight. Did they use his high school graduation picture as the model? He looks more like a skinny John Candy than the two-thousand year old man. I think I’ll make my bobblehead look like Matthew McConaughey, who coincidentally just smells like feet.

Official prediction, keeping in mind that I’m becoming awesome at this prognostication stuff.

Ohio State - 34
State Penn Nitany Suckholes – 13

Go Buckeyes!

Oh by the way. Happy anniversary to the lovely and talented Mrs. H. ILY


Because of traveling and having folks at the house, my awesomely prolific (read crappy) blog has been in need of more words. I’m not sure how these guys who write everyday do it – unless it’s their job. I know a lot of them are teams of dudes who combine talents to put out a blog. Sounds a little like cheating to me, not only because they team up but these bastards have talent. So if I’m not writing as much, the quality of the writing has to be much better, because I'm saving up all the good stuff. Right? Right, just like a nail-gun shot to the testicles is better than a Gatling gun barrage of nail-gun shots to the testicles.

Here are a few quickies.

This guy, a central Ohio resident who was serving in Iraq, has been seen all over the web in the last several months. I love that he has a tOSU flag in Iraq. Secondly, he’s got the little future insurgents spelling out O-H-I-O. Hey, IED making, suicide bombing great nephew of Saddam……O-H.

It is sad however to report that Sgt. Adam Knox of Whitehall, OH was killed in action in Iraq recently. It makes the rah rah college football stuff pretty insignificant. I’ve even seen this referenced on a UM site. I’d like his family to know that their son is being talked about and many are grateful for their sacrifice.

What has to go through a guys mind to say, “Ah, I don’t need that ring anymore, it was only a NCAA National Championship ring.” Ross was a freakin team captain for Pete’s sake. He did kick around in the NFL for a while, so I don’t think he’d need the money. I’d like to have it, though I’d never wear out of the house seeing as how I didn’t earn and all. But how cool would it be to have one? There’s another one on Ebay but you can’t see the players name. It's a shame to see someone feel like it is necessary and OK to let one of these go. It can't have meant much to them to start with. Oh sure, there's the argument that he was there and participated in the game so he's got the memories. Poppycock. I'd want that ring on my finger. It would give me many more opportunities to "Tell you who I am."

Side note: I think it is tremendous that even though it is a National Championship ring, the score of the Game (tOSU v. scUM) is on it. Goes to show how big that game is.

Tomorrow: State Penn @ tOSU prediction. Hold on to your bets until you hear from me.