Friday, December 22, 2006

Yule Log...Giggle

I think that we can all agree that Santa is magic. Can’t we? Covering the world in such a short time with a bag full of goods for brats worldwide. So if he’s magic, instead of going to all that trouble why can’t he just twinkle his veiny red nose and make it happen while sitting on his fat derriere drinking very strong cocktails of the bourbon variety….

Speaking of that, I’m on my way home shortly to start a weekend of very similar activities. I’ll manage to keep my shit together well enough at the requisite family functions, but just barely.

Anyway. I’ll do my best to check in over the weekend. Here’s wishing you and yours a very merry and safe Christmas. May the cocktails be plentiful, your teams cover the spread, your stockings be stuffed and your annoying relatives stranded in Denver. Cheers to you all.

Go Buckeyes.

tOSU hoops by 10 over the Gators

Note: Coming next week, I’ll unveil some plans for a new sports-o-tainment blog for ’07 that some buddies and I are doing. (TR & Buffington, I’ll holla) Don’t worry Deadspin or Kissing Suzy, you guys are probably safe. For now, MAWAHAHAHAH!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Donald Trump is Honorable, Giver.

I would officially like to thank The Donald for giving Miss USA Tara Connor a second chance. She’d been running around acting like every 20-year-old, super-nova hot pageant winner should; Drinking and cavorting until all hours of the Manhattan morning with her roommate. Note: Her roommate is none other than 18-year-old, super-nova hot Miss Teen USA winner Katie Blair.

Seems that Tara was seen pounding down drinks and making out with Katie at NYC hot spots. RAWR. They were also seen dancing provocatively on the tables and carrying out other humanitarian and valorous activities. If this isn’t upholding the duties and conduct required of their respective crowns, then I don’t want to know what those are.

Maybe The Donald can help us out and combine the competitions into one broadcast next year. We’ll have the standard talent, swimsuit and evening gown segments, but then we can integrate a portion of the evening that I’d call something like: Miss USA and Miss Teen contestants pair off, pound a couple glasses of wine, have a pillow fight and let’s just see where this thing goes.” I’ll work on the title, but the concept – Solid.

I tip my hat to you Donald, and I thank you. I’ll be sitting right here at my desk for the next several minutes or so if you need me. I can’t really get up. Know what I mean?

Touching the Buckeye Base today.
Count down to the Desert – 18 days (20 ‘til kick)

Buckeye Basketball
The Buckeyes put the wood to the Iowa State Cyclones by 20 tonight. Grown-Ass Man Greg Oden gets one more tune up game before letting the defending national chumps, Florida, have a piece. That tennis player’s kid, Noah, is going to take one look at Oden and wish he had a spot on the Gator tennis team. Like ball washer. Update: With Leather also weighs in on the equine unit of Oden.