Friday, August 18, 2006

You’re a Nut Job….Mkay?

Did anyone think that this pencil-necked freak looks like Mr. Mackey from South Park? What a freaking creepy looking guy. It looks like there is evil behind those eyes, even if he did what he is claiming or not. I’m starting to have my doubts whether he had any thing to do with the murder of JonBenet Ramsey too.

Seems that the Boulder District Attorney is non-plussed by his confession. Factual errors and such have many people wondering if John Karr is the murderer or just a generic non-murdering pedophile that has a horribly unhealthy obsession with the decade old slaying of a little girl.

For a moment let’s assume he didn’t do it. What is it about people who confess to things like this that they didn’t do? I think it happens often. I would find another way to get some attention. Streaking. Paging oneself in the airport over and over again. Protesting at the White House about the poor treatment of the Alien Visitors while wearing a foil lined colander. Run for governor of Minnesota or Texas.

I hope this guy did do it. It would take the heat of the family and let the little girl rest in peace. I also hope that the collection of Deputies Barney Fife and Enos Strate at the Boulder PD haven’t screw the pooch so bad on this thing that they’ll never find the truth.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Three yards and a cloud...

I realize that I might be on some ticklish ground here but I saw these Jesus Athletic Statues and it was clear to me that I must comment. I mean, come on! Look at these. They are begging for a “Your Caption Here” space.

If Jesus were on my relay team, I think I’d let him have the anchorman position. Seems likely that even in the “Jerusalem cruiser” sandles that he would have the best 100 or 400 meter time. Number 2, Little Bobby believes that there is an “I” in team. What’s the little girl doing? I think she is about to be Zola Bud to Jesus’ Mary Decker.

He’s nothing if not versatile sort of like Renaldo Nehemiah, only a lot holier and Son of God-ish. Don’t tell me that that is Little Bobby again. Thou shall not try to arm tackle Jesus, especially since He seems to be pretty fast and has a good handle on the Power I. I think He's been chatting with Woody up there, because now days with the West Coast offense, passing is way more popular. Notice no grass stains on his clothes. He’s a good scrambler.

There are more, like Jesus Hockey Guy, Basketball and Soccer. Talk about low hanging fruit.

I’ll let you have some fun too.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


I intended to get on here to bitch about the Buckeyes being on the cover of the latest Sports Illustrated. You know, the “SI Jinx” and all? Now, I’m not sure where to start, but I do have a few thoughts on the subject.

First, what is SI thinking when they sell the same issue of a magazine with SIX different covers? As if I don’t know. I do believe it will sell magazines. But does it have anything to do with the “SI Jinx?” I seriously doubt that anyone at SI would openly capitulate to the idea that what happens after a cover is printed is predicated on the actual cover. Openly. Nonetheless there are five other teams that appear on these regional covers: Notre Dame (blech), USC (blech) Texas, LSU and WVU. This fact is known; all of these team can’t win the whole enchilada.

Secondly: So there are 6 groups of fans around the country right now that are crying about their team being Jinxed by the evil-doers at SI. Sports Illustrated states that in the 2600 some odd covers they’ve had, somewhere in the neighbor hood of 37% have demonstrable misfortune or decline in performance following a cover appearance. The vast majority of these failures were on the individual level like golfers, tennis players, drivers, boxers and the like. When we are talking about College Football and the preseason preview I’d be surprised if the primary team on the cover won the Championship 10% of the time. Vegas odd for the preseason is rarely going to be below 3:1, so the team on the cover is bound to fail. Right? Right.

Thirdly: Jinx Schminx. Even though Ohio State Football has been on four SI covers (prior to this one) in their college preview issue and hasn’t won the championship that year, I stand here unwavering. These were usually after a year when we did win it all or came very close. These years were also not complete failures. Mostly these seasons OSU had just one loss and very high finishes in the final poll.

Having said all that, in my mind, this year’s SI College Preview is this one. GO BUCKEYES.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

First Interracial Kiss on TV

Captain Kirk and Lt. Uhura, William Shatner and Nichelle Nichols respectively, swapped spit in an episode of Star Trek making TV history. I think about Lt. U often these days when I see people in public with their Blue-tooth phone thingies hanging out of their ear. I've stopped trying to tell each one of them that they look ridiculous.

So back to Bill Shatner. Can you believe this guy? Once considered by far the cheesiest guy on TV, for his hammish overacting portrayals of Captain Kirk and the T.J. Hooker. Shatner has been selected for induction into the Television Hall of Fame and consistently recieves Emmy nominations every year for his role as Denny Crane in Boston Legal. He'll also be roasted on Comedy Central later this week. I'm not sure how this happens. I guess he changed, because we all couldn't, could we?

“Remember-you can't beam through a force field. So, don't try it.” -- William Shatner.

That about sums it up, don't ya think?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Poor Bomar - No Respect

I don't mean to pick on Rhett Bomar, former Oklahoma Sooner QB, but dammit it's tough not to. Turns out he may not have taken as much money as originally reported for his no-show job at a Norman auto dealer. So this make him an even bigger dumbass. Jeopardizing a potentially lucrative NFL career for less than the cash it would take to buy a used Buick Skylark. Idiot!

This picture makes me laugh.

More on Mo Clarett (pardon the pun) Ohio Judge is ordering a psychological exam to determine whether or not Clarett esta loco en la cabasa. Um, Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I can save you some time. HE'S A FREAKING LUNATIC. Take it to the bank, bang the gavel and let's hit the cafeteria before the green beans get mushy.