Saturday, January 13, 2007

All Growsed up

In an effort to provide you the loyal PK devotee the best, most diverse blogging ever more words from different folks. We’ve scoured the land looking for the brightest literati dudes taking time away from pounding away with "Five Fingers" McFisty to spend a little time with you. First off is good pal and mental giant who can dunk a basketball as easily as he can a donut.

Buckeye Savant, the floor is yours….

The underrated role of the underdog

Unlike Sweet Polly (or Sweet Pauly - if you roll that way), most of us tend to disregard the advantages associated with being an underdog. Monday night's BCS National Championship Game (or, as Buckeye Nation now refers to it, "The Disaster in The Desert") was the most recent - and maybe most glaring - example of this. Although it can be argued that there were a hundred reasons the Bucks rolled over and took it like Ned Beatty, I'd like you, oh humble PK habitué, to consider the main reason for the loss was the motivation Florida took from being named a seven point (under) dog. As strange as it seems to draw so much motivation from an external source, like the dreaded media, the perceived lack of respect is a very strong incentive for 18-22 year olds. Head Gator Urban Meyer said as much in his post-game press conference when he thanked the media for making his pre-game speech easy. On the other side, Cheaty McSweatervest had no such powerful message for his boys and it showed. Florida's players hit harder, ran faster, and wanted it way more than their Ohio State suckwads counterparts. With so much on the line, it seems illogical to think the #1 team in the country could lay gi-freakin-normous brontosaurus egg. But, then again, logic has always been overrated.

Savant: "Fourteen points? That's all we got was fourteen goddamn points?"
PK: "Hey - you can't GD in your first blog entry!"
Savant: "Suck it!"

Friday, January 12, 2007

Remember that one time...

...we went to Arizona and got donkey punched like a bitch?
As you have read before the lovely and talented Mrs. PK and I went to the “Disaster in the Desert” with some friend and family. The following is a photo-journalist account that would make a superhero with the powers of Annie Leibovitz and Edward R. Murrow lie down in the fetal position and wish for their happy place. It’s actually just a handful of photos of such questionable quality, that you might think that a kid pretending to take a picture with a View-Master was to blame. Anyway, on with the show.

Two of the highlights of the weekend were the Buckeye Bash Pep Rally at Chase Field on Sunday, and that other event at the Univ. of Phx Silver Spaceship on Monday. Prior to the Pep Rally there was, if you can imagine the thought, a chance to drink at a stadium-side bar. Before that though, we had to park. This is the ONLY point during the weekend we had a chance against from someone from the south. Please meet Alejandro. He was fair in his pricing and provided a tremendously sweet parking space. (and the car was still there upon departure.)

As mentioned we had an opportunity to quench our parched throats at a lovely establishment next door to the event. You couldn’t swing a dead skunk-bear without hitting 25 Buckeye revelers (literally over 1000 at this one place.) Among the Buckeyes in attendance was one Pete Johnson, the reason Archie has two Trophies and also the reason Bill Gates is considering buying Taco Bell. I don't know who the two Douchie MacDouchingtons are pictured with Pete.

Inside this place at the bar a couple of dudes brought their own ash tray/spittoon/gum holder with them. I couldn’t help wondering why they were making a big deal over scUM at this particular time, but I did enjoy the spirit of the whole idea.

Reports from the Buckeye Bash were that Ohio State SHOWED UP. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 37,000 fans were in the ballpark. It was truly a beautiful site. So much so, that a traveling buddy of mine who prior to this event an impartial observer became a full on Buckeye Kool-Aid drinker after witnessing it. He even took part in the booing of Karen A-Hole Brook.

Things get a little fuzzy from this point on Sunday evening. I know we went to an Indian Casino with money and left with no money. We did however make them take some of the money for Fire Water. Fire Water make Penalty Kill gamble like dumbass. Anyone else? Then later that night I found myself involved in a luggage cart race that would have made Dale Earnhardt nervous (too soon?)

Then on Monday, the only thing to talk about is that we had great parking with a ton of Ohio State tailgaters and we had decent seats. The seats we bought were supposed to be in the very last row in the corner of the end zone. Imagine our surprise when we found our seats. Great seats to see the complete dismantling of a season. 15 seconds of joy, then a lot of shit eating.

I'll be adding a couple of contributors to the PK soon as we get a second site up and running. I expect them to be funny and insightful. That way this site will once and for all be funny and insightful.
For now
PK out