Monday, November 06, 2006

That's what she said

The beautiful Mrs. Penalty Kill has been to exactly two college football games in the entirety of her young life. First, the glorious Ohio State win over hated Miami in the National Championship Game. I mean this was her first college football game EVER. What a way to start. (side note: I rock. I know this because I took my then girlfriend to a game like that. I know. Total badass.)

And the second one was…you ask? Texas at Ohio State. (See the above statement about my badassedness and replace “girlfriend” with “wife.”)

Since then she’s started to watch a lot of the games and has really begun to get into it. For getting such a late start, she’s becoming quite the college football fan. Even to the point of watching games not involving tOSU. I’ve said all this just to set up that she’s pretty new at this. Agreed? Good.

As you may have read earlier I was out of town this weekend and had to get some updates via telephone from her. It was with a fair amount of pride and a roughly equal part recoil I heard her say,
“Ohio State looks like shit!” (Paraphrasing a bit from here on.) “Troy Smith looks like shit, plus that kid you like so much #28, fumbled and looks like shit.” “They’re letting Illinois stay in this game.” “I thought Illinois was supposed to suck.” “Tressel better let these kids know that there is another game between now and the game that they are obviously thinking about right now.” “If they play like this against Michigan, we’re going to get our asses kicked.” “Hey look, there’s a sale at Penney’s”

My only point here is that if she can see it so plainly then it must be true. The Buckeyes escaped Champagne-Urbana (dumb name) with their lives. And clearly looked "like shit."

As my boy DER said, it is like we went from two eventualities – a 13th game and a Heisman for TS – to none. I really hope Troy has a couple of very strong games and gets his Trophy and that this game didn't hurt him too badly. Though, I'm sure every QB winner has had a questionable game along the way. As for the other, our Buckeyes need to heed my bride’s advice…Get your shit together, kick Northwestern’s asses until they’re purple, then get pumped for UM, and finally never wear horizontal stripes if you are a large woman. All very sound, I think.

I plan to be kicking it up a notch over the next week so check back soon. That is until we leave Texas for Columbus next Wednesday. GO BUCKS.


Melissa said...

Your wife nailed the game analysis perfectly. We looked like Crap (said with a mike myers scottish accent), but given the really weak field of Heisman candidates this year and the fact that Troy is just a winner, he's still far and away the leading candidate.
All he needs to do is beat Michigan with a good to great performance and that trophy is his. At least I think it should be. Does that count?

Andy said...

Your post made me think of the first OSU game I took my wife to (girlfriend at the time). It was the fall of 1998 and I was contracting in Ann Arbor (before I moved here for good). I was able to snag MSU away team tickets so we sat in the MSU section for the game with #1 OSU against the lowly Spartans. My wife is a Sparty and was wearing green. I wore red with just a few other people in my section of the south stands. Needless to say, I was like the only one sitting in that section at the end of the game. I still feel like crap about that event. I am happy that your experience with girlfriend/wife at tOSU football games has gone a lot better.

On a positive note, every time we've both gone to see OSU play UM at the Big House, tOSU has won the game (2 times). And, I haven't seen OSU lose to MSU in person since (3 times).

The Penalty Kill said...

First of all. (in the same mike myers accent) Rawr baby. A girl is reading The Penalty Kill. Excellent.

I hope that the Trophy voters are thinking like you. I happen to agree. A UMeatchicken ass kicking and the award is his.

Thanks for stopping by.

The Penalty Kill said...

With that kind of record you and the wife need to be in the 'Shoe this year for The Game.

I can't wait. I'm a wreck already.

go buckeyes