Saturday, January 06, 2007

We're off

I really want to be a stat guy and/or a real sportsy blogger dude. Ain't happenin. That would be like asking Jay Leno to be funny, Cheerleaders to be unSexy, or O.J. Simpson to stop cutting peoples heads off. (Allegedly)

But I do have feelings. Gut feelings. And my gut is in a freaking mess about this game in the desert on Monday. I mean I am a wreck. I don't think this is going to end well. Remember that one time when Ohio State was in the National Championship against Miami? That one time when tOSU was a prohibitive underdog? And the Buckeyes SHOCKED the world? It seems the entire world thinks the Buckeyes are in the same position as MiHammy was then. I swear on the rock hard soul of Johnny Cash that I am scared to death of the Florida Gaytors. (funny spelling, I know. I’m a comic genius)

Here are some facts. (and by facts I mean stuff I'm either making up or I think I heard one time)

They're from the freakin SEC. How's the Buckeye's bowl game record against the SEC. 3 words SHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTY!

Has any team ever won after more than 50 days off. I don't think so. Check it out stat-boy. Answer no.

Of the last 5 Heisman winners who have played for the NC, only 1 has won. Matt "knock a baby up in a hot basketball playah" Leinart

Conclusive evidence that Ohio State is going to get a damn Gator enima? Am I overly nervous and freaked out by being in another National Championship in this decade? Am I looking for something to mitigate the ridiculously over-confident Buckeye-fandom I keep hearing? YES. YES. And YES.

I'm truly freaked. Even the beautiful and talented Mrs. PK thinks the Buckeyes are going to get rolled. She goes on guts too. Damn it. Of course we both hope we are wrong.

We leave today to party in Arizona. If you are going out to the game, look for the wife and me. We'll be the ones in Scarlet and Gray cheering our asses off.

Until next time, from the desert.


PK out.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Fourth & Short Jesus

If I was any good at this blogging thing I would have been all over how bad Notre Dame blows and they would be made to look a ginormaous South Bend Steamer last night in the Sugar Bowl. It’s nice however that stalwarts like Jeff at BBC are on it like Charlie Weiss on bag full of burritos. Check out just how overrated the Irish are and have been. By the way Jeff, you wrote that thing at 3am. Go to bed will you? Give the rest of us slackers a chance. Damn.

Facts are that I’m not really putting my heart and soul into this blog, but rather trying to perfect my newest invention, The Automatic Cheerleader Upskirt Television Recorder TIVO Device Thingie. It’s a working title for my newest creation that will once and for all prevent missing beauties like the USC Song Girl
Megan’s fancy little twirl.

I’m way behind posting this but that’s the point of my new genius invention. Whether I’m home or not this little devil will be scouring the airwaves for the fruits of the perv cameraman everywhere. It might also make it so you can look for “
Lee Corso is a penis” signs and other such greatness.

Our little trip to the desert is nigh upon us. We are outta here on Saturday for some serious pregame revelry. I’ll stop by tomorrow to throw down some really haphazard and shoddy analysis and prognostication.
I’m good at haphazard and shoddy.