Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Some Midweek Prattle

I’ve said this before and I'll say it again, I should’ve just kept on walking when I got the handshake. The lovely DH and I went out for a nightcap after gorging on raw fish. Sounds like we are penguins or seals or something….
Shhh! Look! There are the elusive Wild Hopkins’ gorging on fish plucked directly from the icy river. Rarely are we lucky enough to see this happen. Look how they then dip the raw fish into a craftily made mixture of soy sauce and wasabi.
Anyway, I was introduced to this woman who stuck her hand out for a handshake. I said “I’m Andy, How are you?” First off it was a horribly weak handshake, (see Handshakes) but then she took a second before answering me. She was reading my shirt, which happened to be a “Scoreboard” shirt from the Ohio State/Texas asswhoopin’ She then said, “I don’t like you,” while at the very same time punching me square in the sternum. Hard. I pretended it didn’t hurt but it kinda did. I was thinking this little freak just punched me in the chest exactly 30 seconds after meeting me. Man do I have a touch with the women folk? I’m guessing she’s a Texas fan.

It would probably been ok if she didn’t look like a product of some farm mating experiment gone wrong. Maybe she forgot about one of the steps in the “Stop Drop and Roll” fire escape plan. If Tom Kite and somebody really ugly were performing the “Eiffel Tower” with the only female Oompa Loompa….Ok, enough. Next.

Iowa. Dun dun duhhhhhh!

I’m getting nervous about the pending Ohio State skirmish with Radar O’Rielly’s Iowa Hawkeyes. I’m more nervous about being confident that the Buckeyes will win than about the game. Weird? I just sort of know that we’ll win. That bugs the crap out of me. I’m supposed to be very weary for every game even the cream puffs like Bowling Green or Syracuse. (gotcha JB) The prescription for this malady might just be to go read the Iowa City “We’re hicks from a flat-ass state with nothin’ but corn, but at least we aren’t South Dakota” Times Register Picayune Intelligencer Reporter Coloring Book. There I hope to find some articles talking about how the Hawkeyes are the land mine in the Buckeyes march toward the holy land. I hope I find it, because right now my prediction is that tOSU takes Iowa to their own woodshed and blisters their hind ends through their well-worn overalls. Maybe I'm just a little wound up or possibly it's gas.

More later.