Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Lurking in the corner

I’m not sure what the talk in Central Ohio is, but I can tell you what it’s like out here in the hinterlands. It’s non-stop talk about who is playing Ohio State in the National Championship, or who should be. “Wishigan is the 2nd best team in the country and should get a second chance.” Or “Florida has earned the right to take a crack at Ohio State.” Blah Blah Blah. It’s a rare conversation that includes any more talk about the Buckeyes than them being the other team. Oh and that Meatchicken came in to Columbus and only lost by 3 points to the number 1 team on a very hostile home field. You know what? This is fine with me. I hope that this talk continues for 34 more days.

Please, oh great and wise pundits, forget that Ohio State is a great team and is waiting quietly over in the corner, shining up the ball gag and putting sand in the Vaseline. Just drooling over the chance to cram about 50 points into Urban Meyer’s balloon-knot. (that’s for you POON)

We’ve got so much time to fold spindle and mutilate the stats of these two teams, I’ll save that for later. Just keep talking about Florida and who is not there. Please.


On a personal note: My family lost our matriarch yesterday. A vibrant lady who never had a cross word for anyone. Her version of the “F-word” was "fiddlesticks." She was 90 years old and lived a great life for all but about two months of them. We’ll miss her. I’m using this forum to mention Grandma not for sympathy comments but to say this (actually taking a cue from Mrs. PK.) Be sure to tell your loved ones that they are indeed loved ones, and do it often. Here ends the sappy portion of tonight’s broadcast.



To liven up this thing up and end on a high, I’ll leave you with a punchline from one of my favorite jokes.

“Know it?! I wrote the Mother Fu....!”

leave me comment if you need the first part of the joke. loser.

4 comments:

poon81 said...

the balloon knot makes me laugh out loud every time i read it. Great piano player by the way.

sportsMonkey said...

Look up the definition of "ironic humor," and this post should be the entry.

Sand in vaseline, rubber ball gag, balloon knot, dead grandma, but we "liven it up and end on a high note."

Comedy gold.

Keep up the good work, Andy.

The Penalty Kill said...

Monkey,
Thanks for the props. Now that I can officially call myself Ironically Humorous I'll be able to raise my rates. SWEET.

Oh wait, I do this crap for free. Dang it.

thanks again.

IndyBuckeye said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandma. You are right about the need to tell our loved ones what we think. Mrs. PK rules.

On a lighter note, I'd like to see the word "Testicle" appear more often in your blogs. Every time I see that word in print, I chuckle.