Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Hey Buddy, Got a Light?

So I pretty much nailed my prediction about the Buckeyes beating the Longhorns. Well, I got the Bucks score right. Who knew how wonderful a combination of a Frosh QB and a surprisingly not crappy OSU defense would be? Texas was, however, able to run on OSU’s defense, which would be troublesome if we didn’t know that Tressel will take the boys to the woodshed this week and every week following until they actually learn to tackle. More on this trip later, once the pictures are all compiled.

While in Austin last week, it might surprise you to know that I saw nary a single couch on fire. Seriously. Not ONE! What is the matter with these pansy-assed UT fans? Hello?! It is perfectly in order to burn furniture, dumpsters, cars, farts, trees, books, bras or really anything that will hold a flame. Don’t these hicks no how to party “Detroit-style?”

I think this is a relatively new thing. Back in my day we would have an occasional vehicle with MeatChicken plates pass through the campus area, which would obviously have to be overturned. Duh. But I think this lighting shit on fire is genius. It makes Ohio and Ohio State look so very high-toned. I think it really makes our fair city, Columbus, look attractive and wonderful. Just like a Phyllis Diller home made sex tape.

Straighten up Jack-Asses. Go back to Whitehall or GroveTucky. If you are actually a student, drop out and go to MTA or whatever the truck driving academy is and stop cheering for The Ohio State University. We don’t want you. DeVry has a pretty good crop of freshmen this year. Cheer for them.

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